There are things that I need to do and things I need to finish in order to move forward into the next chapter of my life. I’ve been working hard at this.
One of the most important things that I need to do is proving to be extremely difficult. I need to finish the book that I started several years ago.
Most people would assume (after hearing I’m writing a book) that the idea came to me after losing my husband. I actually felt led to write a book two years prior. I wrote, off and on, up until I got to the point of writing about our accident.
You see, my husband and I went through a lot of trials throughout our marriage; many of which could have ended it. But, we never gave up in each other. That, to me, is a story worth telling; a testimony.
What sort of testimony did I have now?
Here I am, almost 6 years later.
My story isn’t at all what I thought it would be originally. But, I definitely have a story to tell. It’s just a different one.
I have struggled in trying to understand why I haven’t been able to finish, but I think I know now. Finishing the book might just mean the literal finishing of the chapters of the life I once knew. I know in my heart that this could be a very important part of my allowing myself to move forward. As much as I want and need that, the truth is that I’m scared. I want to let go of the the pain, but there is a part of me that holds on out of fear of letting go of him.
I actually wrote on the subject of letting go awhile back. It couldn’t be more relevant than it is now. You can read that post here: Letting Go
I’m going to do this.
I need to do this.
Wish me luck, my blog family.
It’s one thing to think it. Some days you just need to say it out loud…
“My purpose is greater than my pain.
My destiny outweighs my history.
My hope is greater than my hardship.
God’s grace outweighs my shame.
My blessings are bigger than my burdens.
God’s favor outweighs my failure.”
Joni 💗 Grief to Life
Hey blog fam!
A good friend of mine just started his blog and it’s already amazing! He’s a great writer with a powerful story. Read this entry and give him a follow!
My greatest and worst job I never asked for…
The caregiver wears the hidden superhero costume under their clothes. They dare not show fear, never be scared, never shed a tear, even when it’s peaking out from the corner of his eye. You must be brave and courages at all times. The person your giving care to only needs to see this side of life.
But what happens when the care giving has to end? No more medicine to give them, no more needles to inject into their bruised skin, no more cleaning them, no more feeding them, no more waiting rooms, no more doctor appointments, no more seeing your loved one going through so much pain. What is our superhero to do?
The rush and intense feeling the caregiver gets when the treatment works and the medicine has no side effects. Your getting out of the hospital today! Your…
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Stumbled upon this wonderful blog today and wanted to share this post ♥️
Each person who enters our life, every experience we have, is a teacher. Some things we learn amaze us, some trouble us. Everyone we have loved has become a part of us … And no relationship created in love can ever die. ~ John E. Welshons Grief is a dark hallway, where memories gather, and […]
Did you know that the majority of people who have lost a loved one are made to feel guilty about their grief?
Did you know that someone grieving often isolates themselves, disconnects from people, because they feel misunderstood?
Unfortunately, a loved one left behind will often suffer in silence because they have been told:
It’s time to move on.
Aren’t you over this yet?
You need to stop dwelling on this.
It’s been long enough, it’s time to let go.
Aren’t you ready to get on with your life yet?
Or, some of my favorites:
He’s in a better place.
Time heals all wounds.
God needed another angel.
Everything happens for a reason.
Although, some of these things are said with the best of intentions, let me make this clear, they just aren’t helpful! At all!
We didn’t lose something that can be replaced. We lost a person. For a lot of us, this person was an every day part of our lives for many years. This isn’t something you just “get over.”
You are missed
You were special
You were beautiful
You were important
You are not forgotten
Your life had meaning
You were so very loved
You are more than a memory
~Joni ♥️ Grief to Life
Grief is a very personal thing and it is unique to each Individual person. There is a long and painful process you have to go through in order to learn to live without a person that meant so much to them. The path they have to walk isn’t going to look the same as it will for someone else. We have to work at finding our way in a new life that was not chosen or planned.
So, wherever they are on their journey…
Don’t judge. Don’t tell them what to do. Don’t tell them how they should feel. Because let me assure you, those things will hinder their grief process, it certainly won’t help it.
Be there. Be patient. Encourage them to talk about how they feel. Love them right where they are. Repeat.
For those of you who have lost an important part of your life, your loved one…
Take all the time you need. Don’t feel guilty for feeling however you feel at any point on your journey. Those that don’t understand, unfortunately, will someday. This is your life. Nobody is walking this road for you. Do it your way! And lastly; acknowledging, feeling, and expressing your emotions is an important and extremely critical part of the grief journey. Without that, you remain bound and unable to grow and work towards emotional and spiritual health. Yet, it’s one of the most difficult things to do, for many reasons.
For me, I have found that writing is my best outlet. It’s my therapy and where God most often speaks to my heart. I encourage you to seek out the way that best let’s you feel and express your emotions. It’s crucial. xoxo Joni ❤️
I was hurt. Bandages around my wrist. Bruises on my face and all over my body. Still had pieces of glass that hadn’t been removed from my skin. Broken leg. An undiscovered pool of blood from broken blood vessels in my leg, which later developed into compartment syndrome. Two surgeries to follow.
There I stood, with our two young children, staring at a casket that would be lowered into the ground. The worst feeling of the whole experience hit me at that moment. It was time to walk away. We would leave him there. 15 years together, battling things that some will never experience, and I have to leave him now. After all we had been through.
I will never forget what it felt like to turn and be led to the car that would take us away from him. I would try to describe it, but there are no words in the dictionary that could adequately define it.
I see a friend of ours running toward the car, yelling my name and trying to get my attention. I heard, you have to get out, look up! I made my way outside of the vehicle and I see a line of people as far as I can see, all looking up. I look up. I can’t believe my eyes. There was the most beautiful double rainbow I had ever seen. It hasn’t been raining. Weather did not call for something like this. But, it wasn’t just a double rainbow. There was a perfect rainbow circle around the sun.
Ever since then, on significant days, I have seen rainbows. Too many to mention them all, but these stick out the most in my mind:
My son’s first baseball game without his Dad. My daughter’s birthday. My first trip with the kids without him. What would have been my 15th wedding anniversary.
You may call them coincidences. I do not. There is no way that anyone on earth could convince me that the very worst moment in my life that coincided with a moment of pure hope like that, is anything short of a miraculous sign from God. There’s no way.
I was reminded of this today as I stood in the pouring rain, getting drenched, looking for a rainbow. I didn’t see one. I felt silly coming in all soaking wet, but thought… I will always look for the rainbows. 🌈
When the rainbow is hidden;
When it seems that light doesn’t exist.
When you can’t remember or don’t believe in the promises anymore.
Don’t let go.
Refuse to give up.
Even when they aren’t there, I’m still going to look up. Even in the storms, through the pouring rain, when we can’t see light or the rainbow… there is always hope. Don’t ever stop looking.
Joni ♥️ Grief to Life
A RAINBOW = A PROMISE FROM GOD
Wow. One of the best, most thought provoking posts I’ve read. I struggle with grief as well as the fear of letting go. Never had I thought of them as a drug. Will probably have to read this several more tones to fully process my thoughts. A must read…
God did not create religion. He created man, he then commanded man to multiply and fill the earth. In that very instant, he gave man a precious gift; love, because he said; Love me, then love your brother like you would yourself. Religion is a weed sowed into man’s heart by the ruler of the world. It is a drug to many.
Why do people experience thoughts that aren’t real? Feelings that plagues and subdues them into believing there is no escape, no better life for them until their lives end. It assumes the role of a god, but it’s just one in a plethora of worldly spirits. Not too long ago, I had such a demon. It filled me with feebleness, told me nobody loved me, I was nothing; but by what some might call a lucky streak I received the saving grace and clung to it, albeit it wasn’t…
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For those of you who don’t know what the Mystery Blogger Award is, here is why it was created:
“Mystery Blogger Award is an award for amazing bloggers with ingenious posts. Their blog not only captivates; it inspires and motivates. They are one of the best out there, and they deserve every recognition they get. This award is also for bloggers who find fun and inspiration in blogging, and they do it with so much love and passion.”
Created by: Okoto Enigmas Blog
I have been nominated for the Mystery Blogger Award by:
- Put the award logo/image on your blog
- List the rules.
- Thank whoever nominated you and provide a link to their blog.
- Mention the creator of the award and provide a link as well
- Tell your readers 3 things about yourself
- You have to nominate 10 – 20 people
- Notify your nominees by commenting on their blog
- Ask your nominees any 5 questions of your choice; with one weird or funny question (specify)
- Share a link to your best post(s)
3 Things About Me:
- I am a single widowed Mom to two teenagers
- I am writing a book
- I am a huge music lover!
Answers to Questions Asked by Warren Richards:
Q What inspires you to blog?
A I’ve always had a passion for writing, but the real inspiration behind my blogging is the desire to connect with people. I want to tell my story in hopes it might help others who might be on a difficult path in life. I’ve also found so much satisfaction in hearing the stories of all the amazing people I have connected with here.
Q What’s one of the happiest moments you cherish?
AThere are so many, but if I have to choose just one I will always say when I married my husband.
Q What do you like to do in your free time?
AFree time? What’s that? Ha I do all of my writing in my free time.
Q What’s the most of the exciting things you’ve ever done?
AWow. I can’t think of anything that doesn’t sound super lame! Let’s just say, to be continued…
QWhat is one of your favorite posts you’ve read, any blog, and why?
AThe best and most touching post that I have ever read is by the Actor, Wil Wheaton. It is a raw and honest account of suffering from chronic depression. This is a subject that should have more light shed on it. This post does just that, perfectly. What an amazing way to bring awareness to such an important issue, to so many, by using the celebrity platform that he has. You should most definitely check it out: Wil Wheaton
Answers to Questions Asked by Discovering Your Happiness:
Q What is the meaning behind your blog name?
A Grief to Life – My journey from grief (the loss of my husband) to really living again.
Q What is your blogging goal and where do you see yourself in a years time?
A My goal is to connect with as many people as possible. When I say connect, I don’t just mean following blogs and have them follow mine. I mean that I want to make real connections and I am! In a years time I hope to have finished and published my book.
Q What does a lazy day look like to you?
A My bed and Netflix!
Q What’s one of your biggest accomplishments?
A I would have to say that my biggest accomplishment is walking my kids through this new life without their Father.
Q What is one of your biggest fears?
A Something happening to me and leaving my kids without a parent.
Link to my best (maybe not the best but my favorite) post Broken Glasses
My Questions for the Noms:
- Why did you start blogging?
- If you had to change your name, what name would you choose and why?
- You are about to get into a fight, what song comes on as your soundtrack?
- If you could write one new law that everybody had to obey, what would it be and why?
- What’s the meanest thing you have ever done to someone to get back at them?
I look forward to reading your posts!