I saw this posted on Facebook by Lessons Learned in Life and it really hit home.
I spent the majority of my life doing exactly what this says you shouldn’t do. I was always apologizing. I was always making excuses about why I made certain decisions or chose to do something a certain way. Why? Because people can be so judgmental.
The fact of the matter is that most people, fortunately, couldn’t begin to fathom what it has been like to be a young widowed Mother. You can’t compare me to you. You can’t compare my kids to yours. You surely can’t compare our lives. They aren’t going to look the same!
I finally realized that I have no reason to feel like I need to explain myself to anyone, but God. The path we take to get where we will go isn’t going to “look” like yours. What I do know is that three of us are going to be just fine!
Walk your own path proudly and unapologetically, knowing that every single step you take is a part of your story.
We will never stop talking about them.
We need to remember because the memories are all we have left.
We need you to remember them too.
Talk about them.
Share a memory, tell a story.
It doesn’t hurt us to hear you talk about them.
It’s the silence that hurts most of all.
Say. Their. Name.
Hey there, my peeps!
So listen, too often there is a “follow for follow” mentality. We see it in social media and we see it here.
I’m so thankful for the connections I’ve made here. They are worth far more than statistics or numbers!
I would like for you to:
1) Link your blog in the comments. Share a little bit of your heart and what your blog is about.
2) Share someone else’s blog (link) and tell us why you like that blog so much.
3) Share this on your page too.
Let’s get connected with bloggers that we are truly interested in and help others do the same!
Aaaaand go! ⬇️⬇️⬇️
There’s nothing at all wrong with resolutions. We should all have goals; things we want to achieve and work towards. But, there is something you need to know:
There is no kept resolution that will make you (more) worthy of love! You…right this moment, just as you are, are already worthy!
Set your goals. Dream. Aspire to learn and grow. But do those things while knowing you are already enough!
My heart continues to look for you. It doesn’t understand the physical separation and wasn’t ready for you to go.
My soul knows that you are at peace and assures me that we will meet again.
As difficult as it is to accept, I won’t see you again this side of heaven. I will try my absolute best to live, this earthly life I have left, to the fullest.
You may feel weak and tired. You may feel lost and alone. You may be losing hope that things will ever get better, that you will ever truly be happy.
Let me tell you, God sees you. He knows your heart, what you want and need. He hears the cries of your heart.
Your pain is not without purpose.
This is a temporary season.
God is working it all out as you walk through it.
Don’t give up.
Your breakthrough is coming.
He says, “I’m going to do a new thing.”
Just you wait and see.
When someone you love leaves this earth, you are shattered and life as you know it will never be the same.
Not sure why this is on my mind and heart tonight, but it is, so I’m writing about it.
Typically when someone passes away, you hear everything good about that person. Regardless of how they lived their life, you begin to hear in what people say about them, things that make them sound like a saint. Well, no one is perfect and no one’s life can measure up to that picture that is painted.
Having said that, there isn’t any good reason to speak poorly about someone who is no longer here. My Jonathan would be the first to tell you, and he did while he was here, that he had flaws. He spoke more openly about them than most, usually to help someone else. So, I have never spoken about him like he was perfect. I have sometimes talked about his struggles and things he went through, when appropriate, to help someone else or to teach something to our kids. But, as his wife and as the mother of those children, it is my place to do that.
This past year, my kids have learned some things about their father that don’t put him in the best light. Some of those things were things that I chose to tell them because I knew it would help them. Other things were told to them, things that I chose for good reason not to tell them; yet. Some of the things were absolutely not true. So, I had to speak to them about all of that. Things that I wasn’t ready to say, things that I maybe never would have said. I also had to clear up the things that were not true.
It is never good to gossip about anyone. We are all guilty of that sometimes, including myself. But to gossip about someone who is no longer here, and then to take it upon yourself to share those things said with his kids is never okay.
No one will ever know what I have had to go through with my two children. Helping them grieve the loss of their father. Helping them live day to day without someone that was such a big part of their every day lives has been more difficult than anyone could know. It has been 6 1/2 years since we lost him and it is still a daily struggle for the three of us.
I am given unsolicited advice from people who will not understand unless they have gone through what we have, regularly. I have heard things like: It has been long enough. It’s time to move on. I could go on and on. They are said by people who care, people with good intentions, but it still doesn’t make it okay.
We will never move on. There will never be a day that we don’t miss him and wish he was here. There will never be a day that comes where we are over it and it should all be okay. It’s just not that easy and it is not realistic. We not only want, but we need to talk about him. We want others to talk about him. It’s important for us, especially my kids, to know that he hasn’t been forgotten.
There is so much more that I could say but I am going to stop here. Moral of the story is this… Think about what you say before you say it. Understand that your words can have life altering consequences when heard. Especially by the loved ones of someone that is no longer here.
I’m a, what I like to call, recovering people pleaser. I no longer feel bad for saying no to things that I don’t think I should do. I no longer give of my precious time to those that are negative and toxic. I no longer force my kids to be around people that haven’t actively been a part of their lives. I decided to stop explaining and defending myself to people who will only see from their chosen perspective anyway. I no longer make decisions based on how others might think of me. I now make myself a priority rather than being the last on the list. And you know what? I don’t even feel bad about it!
Never Stop Looking for Rainbows 🌈♥️🌈♥️🌈