How can I be real if I don’t know who I am?

All the Things Podcase: EPISODE 3

Most of last episode was spent trying to identify fears; what are those things that I worry about? 

In this episode I pick up from there and begin talking about why those fears even exist; what is the root cause? 

Did the last episode cause you to ponder about yourself?  Did it make you think about what your fears are?  Did you recognize things are that are holding you back from moving forward in whatever way you hope to?  If not, why not try to take some alone time, some important YOU time.  Get in a quiet place, relax, slow your mind, and start to think about these things.  Part of what I’m trying to do here, is not only telling my stories, struggles, etc. in hopes to encourage someone else, but truly inviting you to come alongside me and do the same for yourself.  Why?  Because you matter. 

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Agree to Disagree

I remember a time when it was okay to disagree. You have reasons behind your beliefs just as I have reasons behind mine. I value people based on who they are. Their beliefs and opinions don’t have anything to do with me. I can’t change your mind and you can’t change mine and neither of us should even try. Someone is always going to find a reason to be offended anyway.

The Weight of a Moment

We make tens of thousands of decisions each day. Every one of those decisions produce a consequence, either positive or negative. The sum of all of those, over your lifetime, equal this very moment. One single decision made differently could have altered the course of your life.
What has passed is gone and will never be again. What is to come is not yet realized. This exact moment in time is all you have.
Think about the gravity of all of that.
Live in the present and hold each moment in a regard that conveys how very sacred it is.

The Why Returns

All these years later, I still can’t watch videos of him. I’m so thankful to have them, but it still hurts too badly. I was looking for something on my YouTube and just had to click on this one. I couldn’t listen through to the end, but wanted to share it.
So many emotions come to the surface as I let it take me back to that time, however briefly. The biggest one is the heartbreak that little girl has endured. Her Daddy was her person and they were as tight as a dad and daughter could be.
I stopped asking, the why question a long time ago. I came to realize that I will just never know the answer to that on this side of heaven. But today, as I watched this briefly, that question hit my heart again like a ton of bricks.
Why did my kids lose their dad at such young ages? Their lives have been so incredibly hard as a result. Why did they get robbed of having that man in their lives? They needed him. They still need him.
I remind myself again that I just won’t know that answer and let myself feel the heartbreak and anger. I will again give those feelings over to God and ask Him to bring peace to my heart.
Just needed to let it out a little bit today.

Jonathan & Brenna

Coming to the End of Yourself

I have been going through it. I know many of you have as well. It is a new, challenging, and scary time we are now living in, without the normal struggles that each of us face.
I have let the weight of my troubles, fears, and worries take me to a dark place. It was never my intention as I’ve always always tried to dig deep, despite my circumstances, and fight my way through. I became tired. I am tired. Not just physically, but mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. Exhausted. Drained. Empty. No energy left to fight, regardless of wanting to. No longer able to choose my way out of feeling bad. Not even enough energy to reach out and tell someone how difficult things had become.
It had all just become TOO. MUCH.
That is a scary place to find yourself in. Thankfully, God used someone to speak some things to and over me that I desperately needed to hear.
That being said; my troubles haven’t disappeared and there are still things I’m terribly worried about. I still feel much like I described above. But, words of encouragement and truth spoken over me created a spark of hope. Now, I can hold onto that spark and add a little bit of fuel. Hope says, get ready because there is about to be a fire. **God has more to show me about that so I’ll leave it at that, for now.
Fear is a liar. It can be so difficult to have faith for what you can’t yet see, especially in the middle of the storms, but God has you. Speak those things that are not as though they are. Bury God’s Word and promises in your heart and declare them over yourself, in His name.
And PLEASE. ⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️ If you are struggling. If you are feeling alone. If you are feeling hopeless. If you feel like you have no fight left. PLEASE. Tell someone. Don’t allow fear of any kind to keep you from reaching out to someone. There is NO place that is too far to come back from. There is NO hole too deep to climb out of. There is NO such thing as too dark for light to come through. There is NO place too hidden for God to find you.

Fear says, I will lose everything. Hope says, I will always have enough. Fear says, look at the risk. Hope says, look at the reward. Fear says, it will never work out. Hope says, God works all things together for my good. Fear says, this will ruin my life. Hope says, God can renew and restore. Fear says, I must protect the future. Hope says, God is preparing my future, and nothing can stop Him from giving it to me. Fear says, don’t take another step! Hope says, take your next step of faith. Fear says what if we get hurt. Hope says, what if I can heal a hurt. Fear says, I will be on my own. Hope says God will never leave me alone. Fear says the worst is sure to happen. Hope says, God’s best is on the way. Look past your disaster.
-Jud Wilhite