Gratefulness in the Pain


The pain is indescribable, so I won’t even try to use the right word. It isn’t just a feeling. It’s a whole experience. That experience might be short-lived. It could be an experience like mine that has lasted over nine years. Maybe for you it has been even longer.  

When you get through it; and I do mean when. No that you are better for it. That pain that you wouldn’t wish on your worst enemy, it has transformed you into that strong and beautiful person you are today. 
You are better for it. 

You think things through more thoroughly; you are guided by experience.
You are more empathetic to what others might be going through; you’ve been there.
You are more patient and kind; you remember how you wish you had been treated. 
You are better for your friends and loved ones; but most importantly, you are better for you.

Sometimes it’s not about getting back to that person you used to be. Maybe it’s about stepping into that person that you were created to be.

Somehow, someday, you are able to feel grateful for it all. You will finally appreciate who you’ve become and how far you’ve come. 

That my dear, is called breakthrough.



Have you lost someone you love?
Someone that you thought you couldn’t live without?
If the answer is yes then you, most likely, know how much more important memories are to you now.
You would also, most likely, know how it feels to have people be uncomfortable with your grief.
People don’t know what to say.
So often times, they say nothing at all.
We continue to try and be around others when we are grieving but most times, we end up feeling even more alone. You try to act like everything is okay but, in reality, you are hurting. But, it’s exhausting to hide it.
So, you isolate.
Isolation can get dangerous.

Let’s try to help our loved ones understand what grief is like for us.
Correction; they couldn’t understand what it’s like. Not unless they themselves have suffered a similar loss. And even then, it’s still not the same; as each loss is very unique, just as the one we lost was like no other person.
But still, it’s worth a try.
And if you can’t find the words, send them this:


Please, know that you can’t fix it. You can’t fix me.
Please, know that I lost a whole person. A person that was an actual part of me.
I’m grieving.
I’m hurting.
Please, know that I can’t just make it go away. I can’t just turn my feelings off.
You wouldn’t be able to either.
Please, know that even if I could just wish my pain away, I don’t know if I would.
That would feel like letting go.
That would feel like my person never existed.
They did. They do.
Please, know that they still exist to me. They are always in my thoughts and I, most definitely, still feel them in my heart.
Please know that’s why memories are so important to me. I feel like they are all I have left.
I want you to talk about them.
I want you to share memories.
I need to know that I’m not the only person who still cares about them.




Just in Case

Just in case…

I’ll send that text

I’ll take that picture

I’ll screenshot that conversation

I’ll speak those words

I’ll take that chance

I’ll do that thing

I’ll take that video

I’ll send them that song

I’ll record their voice

I’ll tell them I love them

I’ll say a prayer for them

Identity After Loss

It’s not at all about going back to the person you used to be. It is all about realizing and becoming the person you will be, going forward.

How can I be real if I don’t know who I am?

All the Things Podcase: EPISODE 3

Most of last episode was spent trying to identify fears; what are those things that I worry about? 

In this episode I pick up from there and begin talking about why those fears even exist; what is the root cause? 

Did the last episode cause you to ponder about yourself?  Did it make you think about what your fears are?  Did you recognize things are that are holding you back from moving forward in whatever way you hope to?  If not, why not try to take some alone time, some important YOU time.  Get in a quiet place, relax, slow your mind, and start to think about these things.  Part of what I’m trying to do here, is not only telling my stories, struggles, etc. in hopes to encourage someone else, but truly inviting you to come alongside me and do the same for yourself.  Why?  Because you matter. 


Agree to Disagree

I remember a time when it was okay to disagree. You have reasons behind your beliefs just as I have reasons behind mine. I value people based on who they are. Their beliefs and opinions don’t have anything to do with me. I can’t change your mind and you can’t change mine and neither of us should even try. Someone is always going to find a reason to be offended anyway.

The Weight of a Moment

We make tens of thousands of decisions each day. Every one of those decisions produce a consequence, either positive or negative. The sum of all of those, over your lifetime, equal this very moment. One single decision made differently could have altered the course of your life.
What has passed is gone and will never be again. What is to come is not yet realized. This exact moment in time is all you have.
Think about the gravity of all of that.
Live in the present and hold each moment in a regard that conveys how very sacred it is.

1st Official Podcast Episode

My first official episode was released today!

Check it out here: 1st Episode

Make sure to subscribe so you can catch future episodes!

Joni ♥️